Salam all. Firstly, it is again about the journey of this year. 2012 is soon to be end. The progress of 12 months here really challenging for me and yet it will be more and more next year. I had myself Enough in non-productive things infact for real it was easy to speak it out but hard to execute. It shows that I am still weak and lack of exposure, knowledge as well as experience. After many years, I admit that I could not make it yet. What is actually that I am looking for? I thought it is about money but actually not at all.
Crazy year for me as I mentioned in early post this year, it changed my character, life style and scope of responsibility. I am totally different in many years back because of that. But, one thing that I still being trapped and don't know how to move out from that circle. It is the non-beneficial activities that never react positively towards my life momentum. I am thinking and doing something without any clear intensives and definitely it drives me to no where. And that is why and where I stucked now.
I am returning myself, mysoul, my heart to the where it belongs. I start all over again and always trying to be a good human. Awarenesses are there but I could not turn up, turn down, left or right and trapped deeper and deeper inside until it strains me. "YA ALLAH, show me the correct way".
Before I sleep, I will always thinking where my soul, heart, mind go while I am sleeping? And I woke up everyday with same me, same soul, heart and mind. But how long for that? It is something that need to sit at calm situation and pray for/to Allah S.W.T. Life is not forever but death is confirmed. Where am I when death is happen? What should I do if I already know the answer? Actually, I am thinking about death. I will die in anytime and no one can escape it. So, what is my preparation for that?
"Hendaklah tiap-tiap orang memerhatikan apa yang diusahakannya untuk esok (hari khiamat)."
(Surah al- Hasyr : 18)
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